From my book “Songs of the Mist”
“Yogini sat down with her cup of tea on a stone next to me and looked far away at the Neelkanth Peak.
“When I am with people in the village or in meditation, I lose the awareness of myself. I don’t relate with my physical self as I have always thought it to be different from me. Somehow, I am entangled within it, like a tree that is covered all over by snaking vines. It flowers and has large leaves, shading and seemingly protecting me from the external elements, but deep down I know it’s devouring me. This constant struggle with my own mind of uprooting and throwing those vines away all the time has blurred the vision of my own existence. I feel that there must be something horribly wrong with me to sprout such a flowery vine and wear it all the time. Coming over to the ashram was part of the exercise to come to terms with it and I still have not. There’s always something, some need, some feeling that takes root and grows out into existence.”
“Everything takes time Yogini and you have taken the first step. Take another and then another. We live our life in the steps, not at the end. When the time is right, you will find your space in universal design. That space is the reality of our consciousness; rest is layers upon layers of memories, desires, and insecurities of mind. The problem is that within these layers, we lose the sense of our purpose and drift along like the clouds in the sky, inadvertently bringing rain or sunshine in our lives. But if we dive deeper into the awareness of our being, we will find the true purpose of our living.”